Hello sports fans! We’re heading stateside this weekend for one of our favorite races, and in celebration of the US Grand Prix, we’ve created a titanic mash-up for you.
Ahead of their trip across the pond, Lando and Daniel tried on this season’s Mitchell & Ness American Football jerseys and started chucking the McLaren-themed American Football around the boulevard. This got us thinking, what positions would they be picked for in an NFL draft? And then we had another thought: which McLaren legends would get picked up in an NFL draft, and where would they play?
So, we are excited to introduce to you, the McLaren Speedy Kiwis…
A fictitious American Football team based in Woking who we are sure could take the NFL by storm. With Zak Brown as General Manager and Andreas Seidl as Head Coach, our drivers will be switching their Sparco overalls for some cleats and shoulder pads.
Now, we hear you, the makeup of a Formula 1 driver doesn’t exactly fit with what a traditional American Football player would be, but that’s not what we are basing this on. No, we looked at the characteristics required for each individual position and matched them up with the drivers who best matched that skillset.
We listed down every McLaren F1 driver in history and then scratched off the drivers currently racing for other teams on the grid because they’d be unavailable to us in this draft. To qualify for selection, the driver had to have started every race during an entire Formula 1 season for McLaren.
We are filling nine of the key positions in an American football team. The remaining drivers would then complete our matchday squad, without having a naturally assigned position.
Available drivers: Bruce McLaren, Denny Hulme, Emmerson Fittipaldi, Jochen Mass, James Hunt, John Watson, Alain Prost, Andrea de Cesaris, Niki Lauda, Keke Rosberg, Stefan Johansson, Ayrton Senna, Gerhard Berger, Martin Brundle, Mika Häkkinen, David Coulthard, Kimi Raikkonen, Heikki Kovalainen, Jenson Button, Stoffel Vandoorne, Lando Norris, Daniel Ricciardo.
Quarterback: Bruce McLaren
Comparable characteristics: Awareness, leadership, accuracy, intelligence
No.5
There was only one choice for this position, wasn’t there? Sure, Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost might have been fine selections, but this had to be Bruce, our late founder, and the ideal individual to lead the McLaren Speedy Kiwis into a bright new future on the pitch.
The ultimate leader with an encyclopaedic-like knowledge. He had eyes in the back of his head and was constantly reading the field, improving those around him with words of wisdom and juicy nuggets of information.
He also possessed pin-point accuracy: whether he was throwing his car down the inside of a rival or a dime down the field, he would never miss. Our Quarterback gets the number five shirt, having competed using that number when he won McLaren’s first F1 race.
Running back: Lando Norris
Comparable characteristics: Elusiveness, balance, agility
No.4
Doesn’t go down without a fight, seriously quick with a crack for finding gaps. Lando’s overtaking prowess and ability to slalom through challenges would make him a worthy running back.
Nimble with outstanding balance, he has displayed great timing and precision on many occasions, but none more so than his sensational charge through the field from seventh to third at the 2021 Emilia Romagna Grand Prix. Another example of his suitability for this position would be his lightening-quick, maximum-attack final lap at the 2020 Austrian Grand Prix to take fastest lap and his first podium finish. Lando wears his selected racing number four.
Wide receivers: Ayrton Senna
Comparable characteristics: Focus, speed, athletic ability
No. 12
Unbreakable focus and unrivaled speed. A freakishly talented, generational athlete both on and off the field. The driver everyone wants to beat, but no one can keep up with. It doesn’t matter who is in his wheel tracks, Senna’s destination won’t change, his route is mapped, and he’ll find a way to get to the end zone.
This ability to shake an overtake would translate well to dodging challenges. As equally tactically aware as he is physically fast and powerful, Senna is a playmaker in the truest sense of the word and would have made a talented wide receiver. He takes the number 12 jersey, his racing number from the year he first won the F1 Drivers’ World Championship.
Tight end: Jenson Button
Comparable characteristics: Versatility, jack of all trades
No. 22
The ultimate in adaptability. Jenson Button can sprint or block, depending on the situation. Excellent at finding grip where others can’t – especially in the wet but with the solidity to hold the line and defend a position as the situation demands.
Need pure speed? Jenson’s won at Suzuka and Spa, two of the fastest race tracks in the world. Need to find a way through a layered defence? Jenson comes from last place to take the lead and the victory on the final lap of the 2011 Canadian Grand Prix. Need someone to resist pressure and hold off a charge? Jenson in Australia 2012. Our Tight End takes his chosen racing number of 22.
Offensive lineman: Alain Prost
Comparable characteristics: Protect, hold their ground, they need to be a wall
No.2
impenetrable Capable of inspiring vast confidence in those around him – and a sense of weary resignation in his opponents. A good offensive lineman needs to be a trusted protector, an absolute wall and able to hold their ground no matter the conditions.
Smart and sure-footed, Prost has these qualities in abundance, as evidenced in the 1986 Australian Grand Prix. In a crazy race, with the advantage swinging back and forth, Prost kept his head and did what needed to be done to seal his second F1 World Championship. Lesser drivers may have wilted under the pressure, been distracted by a mid-race puncture or a faulty fuel gauge – but Alain took these setbacks in his stride and got the job done.
Cheers won two F1 titles whilst driving a McLaren emblazoned with the number two and he takes that number in this team as our Offensive Linesman.
Defensive tackle: Mika Hakkinen
Comparable characteristics: Explosiveness, power
No. 7
Mika Häkkinen’s brilliant combination of pure power and explosiveness makes him our pick for a defensive tackle. More often than not, the fastest off the line and astute enough to be a match for his rivals in the mind as well as on the ground.
The two-time World Champion’s Belgian Grand Prix win in 2000 displayed all these qualities. Having reeled in Michael Schumacher, the pair touched at over 320km/h after some aggressive defending from the Ferrari, and Häkkinen suffered damage to his McLaren. Undeterred, the Finn tried again, pulling off one of the all-time great overtaking moves, going around Schumacher and Ricardo Zonta on the Kemmel Straight. It’s this type of vigor that would make him a great pick at defensive tackle.
The Finnish racer’s debut number for McLaren was seven, and he will wear that for the McLaren Speedy Kiwis.
Linebacker: Niki Lauda
Comparable characteristics: Instinctiveness, awareness, leadership
No. 8th
The smartest on the field with a killer instinct. Even when he wasn’t at his quickest, Lauda’s capacity to outthink his competitors gave him an edge.
From the out-and-out speed shown at Portugal in 1984 to his tactical master class at the 1985 Dutch Grand Prix, Lauda’s greatest drives could all be described in varying ways, but every single one would contain the word calculated. It’s that quality, combined with his awareness and leadership, that would have made him a successful linebacker. He wears the number eight that featured on his car when he won the title with McLaren.
Safety: Daniel Ricciardo
Comparable characteristics: Anticipation, ability to read the field, placement
No. 3
The battle of the Honey Badgers. Daniel shares his nickname with NFL Safety Tyrann Mathieu, making this a potentially easy pick for that reason alone. However, his abilities do tie in nicely with the position.
As the last line of defence, a Strong Safety needs to be a solid defender and Daniel showed that in abundance during his 2018 Monaco Grand Prix victory. He drove helped the race with a heavily stricken car, yet through defiant defending and shrewd tire management, managed to keep Sebastian Vettel behind him and hold onto first place at the finishing line.
A good Safety also needs perfect placement and the talent to anticipate what those around him will do. Daniel’s ability to read the field and confidently put his car in the right position to defend or pull off an overtake make him a shoe(y)-in for this position. Never was this truer than during his iconic 2021 Italian Grand Prix win. Daniel wears his selected racing number three.
Cornerback James Hunt
Comparable characteristics: Reaction time, speed ability to mirror the person they’re defending
No.11
James Hunt had lightning-fast reactions, incredible speed, and a canny ability to read, outwit and outfox those around him. A good cornerback can get inside the head of the wide receiver they’re guarding, and Hunt was a master of mind games. Few in history would be a match for him in psychological warfare.
On his day, Hunt was unstoppably quick. His title-clinching 1976 Japanese Grand Prix podium was a masterclass of speed in the wet. Dropping down to fifth with only a few laps to go, Hunt needed at least third to secure the title and despite the treacherous conditions, somehow achieved this with two late overtakes.
He was also an astute defender who could mirror those attacking him and keep them behind – his defending over Lauda throughout the 1976 season was legendary. He is our final pick at cornerback and takes the number 11, having sported that number on his car when winning the title in 1976.
Now that you’ve seen our team, what would yours be? Use the names listed above to create your team and reply to the article on social media, or use #FansLikeNoOther.
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